The Frayed Ends of Sanity
by Riku of Darkness
Summary: Evil songfic about Marik. Lyrics from Metallica: 'Sad But True'. Dedicated to Vixen2004 for her great review and inspiration. No...The darkness swirls around me, forming an endless oblivion that delivered a sharp slap of realization to my ashen face.


**The Frayed Ends of Sanity**  
  
-----------------------------------------------  
_ Hey  
I'm your life  
I'm the one who takes you there  
_ -----------------------------------------------  
  
No, stop it! I'm not you! What do you want? Leave me alone!  
  
'_Don't deny it. Denial is ignorance and believe me, ignorance is no bliss!_' A hand reaches out to me...My eyes go blank as I reach out to take it...  
  
No!  
  
I jump up with a start. Cold sweat soaks anything brave enough to touch my cursed skin. My short gasps cause my heart to quicken its already rapid pace.  
  
Not again...  
  
I fall back on my damp pillow. My ecru hair clings to my face and neck. My amethyst eyes stare into the darkeness of my room, full of fear and desperation.  
  
-------------------------------------  
_ Hey  
I'm your life  
I'm the one who cares_  
--------------------------------------  
  
Despite my position, the hand from my dream (or nightmare. I can never tell anymore) reaches out to touch my shoulder. It's as cold as death and just as evil.  
  
'_Don't be afraid..._'  
  
The blankets scatter wildly as I swing frantically to release the grip. My efforts result in my landing flat on the floor.  
  
'_Let me help. You're hurt._'  
  
Pain shoots up and down my arm, but ultimately returning to the source, my shoulder. As I scramble backwards, I soon realize my entrapment in this darkness.  
  
-------------------------------------------  
_ They   
They betray  
I'm your only true friend now  
_ --------------------------------------------  
  
I-Ishizu...Odeon...please help me. I don't wanna be alone...alone with...  
  
'_Who are you talking to? I'm the only one here. I'm the one who's here for you..._'  
  
N-no...S-sister, p-please help me...  
  
'_She's gone, remember...You drove her off, attacked your father. No one cares about you now..._'  
  
'_Except me..._'  
  
No... The darkness swirls around me, forming an endless oblivion that delivered a sharp slap of realization to my ashen face.  
  
------------------------------  
_ They  
They'll betray  
I'm forever there_  
-------------------------------  
  
P-please somebody help me... The darkness, the shadows. They feel so cold, so dead. My fear is merely outmatched by pulsing shoulder. But my shoulder is nothing compared to the pain in my head. As the darkness thickens, the throbbing grows worse. The memories; the afflictive, haunting memories. Tears of multiple torments escape from my hopeless eyes.  
  
'_Oh, you poor tortured soul. Don't worry, I'm here for you._'  
  
My shoulder becomes calm as the darkness takes control. My weak cries of resistance are easily stifled. A forgotten, but familiar voice calls out my name, calls out to me, amidst the blackened room.  
  
"Master Marik? Master Marik! Are you all right? What's wrong?"  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
_ I'm your dream, make you real  
I'm your eyes, when you must steal  
I'm your pain, when you can't feel  
Sad But True_  
----------------------------------------------------  
  
"No Marik! You put that down! You're not ready to wield the Millennium Rod. Put it down!"  
  
'_You've stood in my way long enough, father! The rod is mine, as it should be, at long last. Now, prepare to spend the rest of your miserable existence...In the Shadom Realm!_'  
  
No...No...That wasn't me. I-I wouldn't do that! Someone, help me!  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
_ I'm your dream, mind astray  
I'm your eyes, while you're away  
I'm your pain, while you repay  
You know its Sad But True  
_ -------------------------------------------------  
  
That voice came again...Odeon?  
  
"Master Marik?"  
  
'_Everything is fine, Odeon. Your concern isn't necessary._'  
  
That's not my voice... No, Odeon, help me! The darkness, it-it's suffocating... came a weak strangled cry. No, not again...Odeon!  
  
"Are you certain? I sense something..."  
  
'_Do not contradict me! Yours is not to question why!_' I feel my lips move, but that can't be my voice...  
  
No Odeon...please don't leave me...  
  
Shadow Realm...Shadow Realm...  
  
Each footstep was like a direct blow to my soul.  
  
'_Yours is to do and die, 'old friend'!_'  
  
No! I break from it's grasp, though it's far too late.  
  
-------------------------------------------  
_ You  
You're my mask  
You're my cover, my shelter  
_ --------------------------------------------  
  
The formless darkness stared back at me, smirking at my defiance. But my anger is overpowered by my fear. My body betrays me as I slightly tremble at the horror in front of me. I bite my lower lip to desist any more obvious hints. It does me no good, however.  
  
'_He'll be next, you know. You can't resist it much longer. You'll send him away, just like all the others._'  
  
"Shut up! You stay the hell away from Odeon!" My voice finally erupting into sound.  
  
'_Tsk, tsk. Such anger and hatred. How can you deny the obvious truth?_'  
  
I flinch as my teeth drew blood as they bite down fiercely on my lip.  
  
...The obvious truth...?  
  
--------------------------------------------  
_ You  
You're my mask  
You're my cover, my shelter  
_ --------------------------------------------  
  
"Marik! What are you doing? You are a tombkeeper, sworn to serve the pharaoh. You dare deny your heritage?"  
  
'_Don't patronize me, dear sister. My path is set. And damned the individual who stands in my way._'  
  
"Marik!? I can't believe this. You would use that Ancient power on your own flesh and blood!? What's happened to you?"  
  
'_I've become what I was meant to be. Farewell, Ishizu!_'  
  
No...curse you...  
  
------------------------------------------------  
_ Do  
Do my work  
Do my dirty work, scapegoat  
_ ------------------------------------------------  
  
'_You see, you're a menace to anyone who bothered to care about you. They'll all fall at your hands, eventually. You'll be feared by all, the definition of power._' And evil...  
  
Alone...Alone...No, I don't want to be alone...  
  
'_Don't you get it yet?_' The voice, (my voice?) came with such cruelty and a smile that was like a knife in my pounding heart. '_You're already alone..._' The smile ever deepening.  
  
'_You always have been._'  
  
----------------------------------------------------  
_ Do  
Do my deeds  
For you're the one who's shamed  
_ -----------------------------------------------------  
  
'_Of course you're alone. No one cares about you..._'  
  
Stop it...  
  
'_They locked you away to guard an ungrateful unknown. They put you through hell. Heh, you have the scars to prove it._'  
  
I slapped my hands over my ears and went down to my knees. Stop it, that's enough! Stop it!  
  
'_They all hate you, don't deny it. All will hate you soon enough. Your name is pain, yours and theirs._'  
  
I slammed my eyes shut to block the malicious sound from my head. But the darkness was like a thick fog; thick...heavy...suffocating. Please...Stop...but the voice was like a piercing drill in my skull.   
  
'_You hate yourself, more than anything else. Admit it! Everyone else knows it too. You're the epitome of Evil!_'  
  
"Shut Up!" I couldn't take it anymore; I just snapped. Still holding my head with my eyes screwed shut, I flew up and screamed at the shadows. I felt a dark energy burst out from my possessed heart and cursed body. The shadows were driven back by my outburst. But the only fear there, was mine.  
  
------------------------------------------------------   
_ I'm your dream, make you real  
I'm your eyes, when you must steal  
I'm your pain, when you can't feel  
Sad But True  
  
I'm your dream, mind astray  
I'm your eyes, while you're away  
I'm your pain, while you repay  
You know its Sad But True  
_ ------------------------------------------------------  
  
N-no...w-what happened?  
  
The darkness stared back at me, a smirk of satisfaction on its shapeless lips. This caused a cold shock to shoot through my heart.  
  
'_You get it now? You see, you have powers that would make that pathetic pharaoh cower in fear. You and the Gods will be worse than the Apocalypse itself. Isn't that what you want?_'  
  
I could feel my eyes grow blank and I weakly shake my head. No, power meant little to me. All I wanted was my friends and to be...be...  
  
'_No? Are you sure?_' I shake my head again. I felt my eyes fill with tears as I sank back down to my knees. My cheek felt like a cold hand had been on it, a very cold hand, the hand of death itself.   
  
And still did. I hit it away from me, but the work had already been done. The truth was settling in. I was alone, all alone. All I had wanted was...was...  
  
'_Freedom..._' The darkness answered for me.  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
_Hate  
I'm your hate  
I'm your hate when you aren't loved  
_ ------------------------------------------------------  
  
'_But that's a desire you can't have...remember?_'  
  
I felt my lip start to quiver and then my teeth re-bite down on it. I felt the welling tears grow more bitter and insistent, threatening to spill from my clouded amethyst eyes, gradually darkening with the emotion that I feared the most.  
  
'_Your fate has already been decided. You're a tombkeeper._' The voice took on a mocking tone, which only built up my anger.  
  
---------------------------------------  
_Pay  
Pay the price  
Pay for nothing's fair  
_ ---------------------------------------  
  
'_Your job is to guard the tomb of the Pharaoh. You have no say in the matter. Your destiny is to remain underground, away from the outside, away from the light, away from freedom._'  
  
I felt the urge to yell at the voice, tell it to shut up, say that it's wrong. But I couldn't; it was the truth. The cloud of depression darkened and fell over me like a thick blanket. I was running down a street that would eventually become a dead end. I felt a couple of tears escape from my eyes and silently cursed them for their weakness.  
  
-------------------------------------------------  
_ Hey  
I'm your life  
I'm the one who took you there  
_ -------------------------------------------------  
  
'_I'm not the one you're really angry at, are you? I'm not the one you hate..._' The voice had become softer now, more soothing. I felt myself being drawn to it and wishing that he wouldn't stop.  
  
I couldn't bring myself to answer the question though. I wanted to scream "No!" I hated (No, no, not hate, not hate) being alone, in the darkness, with him. But then, he didn't put me here. He didn't hurt me; he never has. He must have been able to read my mind somehow, because that lulling, yet cruel voice continued,  
  
'_Your father subjected you to torture. He hurt everyone close to you. Your sister abandoned you. She teased you with freedom and then threw it away. But, worst of all, is the Pharaoh himself..._'  
  
----------------------------------------  
_Hey   
I'm your life  
And I no longer care  
_ ----------------------------------------  
  
'_He made you go through all that hell. He took away your dreams, your freedom. Who made him God to say..._'  
  
I'll take your life from you... I felt myself answer. I was crying harder now, the tears of shame and rage sliding off my cheeks as if my skin had turned to ice, my fists at my sides, my nails digging into my palms.   
  
'_And he doesn't give a damn about you. You're just another pathetic soul bound to his rule, his word. And everyone is bound to him..._'  
  
I could feel the anger welling up deep in my possessed heart. But I still felt a terrible fear as well. This emotion scared me, only making me further realize the truth that the darkness spoke of. But my fear slowly dwindled and became lost to the reason of its existence...  
  
Hate...  
  
------------------------------------------------------  
_ I'm your dream, make you real  
I'm your eyes, when you must steal  
I'm your pain, when you can't feel  
Sad But True_  
-----------------------------------------------------  
  
'_You deserve better than this. Marik, why should you suffer unto a worthless pharaoh who took away everything?_'  
  
I felt a sharp burning pain as the darkness muttered these terrible, but enticing ideas. My head snapped back, my darkened ecru hair flying wildly. The scriptures, my chains of destiny, felt as though they were being spiked. Painful memories screamed through my head. The constant suffering, the broken dreams. Why me? My scriptures were aflame, the agony searing my flesh and tearing though my entire body. Death would have been the lesser of two evils now.  
  
'_Come with me...' The hand beckoned again, like so many times before. 'Let me help you..._'  
  
I felt my useless body crumple to the ground. With an unknown strength, I slowly stood and stared at the hand that promised so much...  
  
But at what price...?  
  
Did I dare? It would be so simple...I could be...  
  
No! I slapped the hand away and whipped away from it. Tears of pain and vehemence streaming down my cheeks, I look forward only to come face-to-face with myself. The long, dark mirror that hung in my room, sending off my pathetic reflection. A sad excuse for a person. A sobbing, broken mass. I felt the darkness grow thicker around me. I felt my despondant, clouded eyes grow wider. I saw my reflection stand up straight, confident, yet dark. Though the eyes were dim, they held an arrogant, powerful air to them. The mouth slowly produced a smirk that spread across the lips rapturously. Like the eyes, it was power-filled and prideful. But it took on a mocking tone. '_This is what you could be..._' This reflection, just staring at it, made me want to succumb.  
  
But then the face started to change The eyes became half-closed and menacing, veins began to appear, the hair grew up and spiky. The face grew constorted and nightmarish. I was staring into the face of evil itself.  
  
My mouth could form no words, but the face that resembled mine (No! It didn't! It can't!) responded without feeling or concern, but with a cutting note,   
  
'_What's wrong? Don't you even recognize yourself in the mirror anymore?_'  
  
All my pent-up emotions, but particularily my madness, burst out of me at once. A horrified scream escaping my bitten lips, like the howl of some tortured wild beast, straining every vocal cord in my throat. My fist flew forward and the glass exploded into spiderweb form and crashed to the floor. Falling to my knees, I see something that will never clap thunder as loud, singe the sky with fire as hot and bright, burn through my heart, or capture and hold my breath as long as this...  
  
----------------------------------------------  
_I'm your truth, telling lies  
I'm your reason, Alibis  
I'm inside, Open your eyes  
I'm you  
_ ----------------------------------------------  
  
The image in the fragmented glass was me. The silence and the sight of my cracked face washed over me like ice water, destroying any resistance that remained in my spineless body. There sat a lost cause. A broken, drifting soul who's spirit is as shattered as the glass that holds his true image.   
  
All innocence and purity lost, I feel myself stand, sending whatever cured heart that existed in my unworthy chest into the shadows.  
  
The hand extends once again. This time, I hesitate not to take it. The darkness envelopes me and I zealously accept it. I have become what I was and was always meant to be.   
  
----------------------  
_Sad But True_  
----------------------  
  
The worried voice of Odeon returns once again.  
  
This time, there was no cry for help, extinguished by the evil that had reunited with its lost host.


End file.
